Feelings and Weight Loss
A Feeling is a Feeling not a fact !
So first lets look at what a feeling is ?
A feeling is a response in the body to a thought in the mind. It can be a response to an external situation but it will have been seen through the filter of thought. This mental interpretation is a conditioned response. A feeling is also known as an emotion or energy in motion. Feelings need to flow as does energy so when feelings are perceived as uncomfortable then they can become stuck in the body and can then cause pain, disease, weight issues, in a bid by the body to get your attention. Feelings are signalling systems, they need to be acknowledged. It is when they are resisted that the problems occur, as the body holds onto them .
Whatever you Resist, Persists !
Most illness and weight related issues are an extension of negative feelings. I do not believe we should label feelings good or bad as they all are there to draw our attention in. If they feel bad it is because we are focusing on something we are interpreting as bad and it can be real, perceived, or in many cases a conditioned response. Many people believe if they ‘fix’ their weight they will manage their feelings and never over eat. Sadly they try to do this by dieting and end up feeling worse and find it even more difficult to manage their feelings. This energy gets trapped in the body and forms the basis for many illnesses.
Part of my work involves giving you tools to put into your wellness tool box and these tools teach you how to identify, acknowledge, accept, express and honour your feelings in a way that serves you and others.
Overeating, compulsive eating, binge eating, yo-yo dieting, are usually about resistance…. Resistance to feeling fat, lonely, anxious, afraid etc. We think we are miserable because of how much we weigh but it is in fact what is weighing on us that is the real problem. This takes the form of unhelpful thoughts, beliefs, and feelings that have become stuck in the body and maladaptive behaviours with food become their expression. Excess weight is what happens when food is used as a tool to distract from feelings, and situations that you believe are intolerable or painful. Unless we go within , weight may come off initially but the weight will come back to get your attention. Feelings like…. ‘There is nothing good about my body so there is nothing good about me’ compound the problem and create more resistance. I have spoken a lot about acceptance and while it is a challenge , it brings compassion and reduces resistance so you can get to see the real issues.
Respect Your Body and it will Respect You !
It is not your feelings that are the problem, it is the beliefs driving the feeling, resistance to feeling the feeling, coupled with the story you tell yourself as a result of the feeling. Example ….
Feeling ~ I feel fat !
Belief ~ I believe I am and I also believe being fat means I am a bad person, it means I am weak, negative, greedy and I have let myself go.
Story ~ This means nobody will find me attractive, people will not take me seriously, people will not value my opinion, they will treat me badly, they will judge me, etc….
Please believe me when I tell you, You are Entitled to feel whatever it is that you feel, but once you create the story in your head about what you are feeling then you have stopped feeling and initiated resistance to the real issue. It is the resistance that creates the urge/craving to overeat or eat when you are not hungry. In an attempt by the mind to protect you from feeling, it will tell you a story and have a rant about how awful it is.
It is only when you feel from within will you then lose the weight from within. Listening to the mind’s stories will keep you outside yourself. It’s not about food, or weight, or fat or feelings, but what lies beneath ? That is what your body is trying to show you.
When the mind takes over it disregards the needs of the body. The body like anybody does not like being disregarded so it will fight back to get your attention usually in the form of pain, illness, weight etc.
Again it is not your feelings that create the maladaptive behaviour, it is your attempt not to feel the feelings.
Feelings are not good or bad, right or wrong, they just are !
They become negative because we won’t accept them in ourselves. Feelings can not be controlled, however we can control how we respond to them and how we express them. They are waves of energy that either are allowed to flow (accepting) or get blocked (resisting).
It is not about lack of Will Power but lack of understanding of the Power of the Will !
Let me inject some humour here and tell you about ducks !
When ducks fight, it is usually short lived, then they move away from each other in opposite directions, flap their wings to release the energy built up while fighting and float back toward each other peacefully as if nothing happened ! If a Duck had a mind like us humans then the above would go something like this… The duck would gravitate towards another duck and start her story….. I can’t believe what he just did , he came within 5 inches of me, he thinks he owns the pond, he has no respect for me , I bet he did it on purpose, I bet he has been plotting this for a while, how dare he, I will show him……… As far as the body is concerned the fight is still going on so it generates feelings to support these beliefs. The Ducks message is simple… flap your wings and let go the story.
So how do we learn to feel our feelings ?
First we need to identify what we are feeling.
Then we need to acknowledge the feelings.
Next we accept our feelings without judgment , labelling or analysing.
You don’t have to like them, or make sense of them, just acknowledge them.
It is very liberating when you give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you are feeling – and its ok!
Once you have allowed the feeling to flow through you, your body will thank you for that. Now you can go into solution mode. The body breathes a sigh of relief… ‘thank god she/he has finally acknowledged me’.
As you learn to respond to your feelings in new ways the urges and cravings to overeat and emotionally eat will begin to subside.
I’ve had a very difficult life, fortunately most of it didn’t happen ! Mark Twain
SUZANNE ~ 087 2056560