Self Esteem & Eating Disorders.
Questions to help you identify your good points...
- what do you like about yourself, however small.
- What positive qualities do you possess
- what have you achieved in your life however small
- what challenges have you faced
- what gifts and talents do you have, however modest
- what skills have you acquired
- what do other people value or like in you
- what qualities and values do you have that you admire in others
- what might someone who loves you say about you.
- How did you develop your self esteem.
How to build self esteem and self confidence…
1. Stop criticising yourself.
A person who lacks confidence does so because he/she is always putting
themselves down. He/she feels to fat, to old, to tall, to small…
you know the drill ! stop this negative self talk now. The problem is
when you start to hear something often enough, despite it being untrue,
you start to believe it.
Appreciate that you are unique. You are doing the best you can with the awareness you have at present. When you are interacting with people don't sit in judgement afterwards…. I should have said that…. what did I say that for…. they aren't interested in my opinion,… etc. imagine a stop sign like the ones you see on the road and this will interrupt the thought long enough for you to become aware of what you are thinking. When you stop being so harsh on yourself then you have the objectivity to make changes more easily. Self acceptance is the key every time.
2. build yourself up by acknowledging your values
and virtues.
Make a list of your qualities, gifts, attributes, and traits. Are you
loving, kind, sensitive, a good listener, an understanding spirit, and
so on… start to feed your mind with positive thoughts. Repeat various
affirmations to change your unconscious mind and reprogram what you want
to think, not what is automatically being thrown at you due to existing
distortions. Your thoughts never stand still so it is up to you to chose
more positive empowering thoughts to replace dis-empowering negative thoughts.
3. lighten up !
life holds many adventures and experiences for you and if you go with
the flow then you have a better chance of riding the wave ! resisting,
struggling, and giving into negativity can only lead to anxiety and stress which in turn affects every aspect of your being. Make the most of life
and life's obstacles. Choose to learn from people and events and have
them make you instead of break you.
4. trust your higher power.
It takes a great leap of faith to believe in something greater than yourself,
but when you do, oh the rewards ! relying on your higher power or spirit
strength does not mean handing things over and making no effort to change.
It simply means that if you do your best and have faith in the power of
the universe, then you can harness the universal life force behind you
and it will then be your driving force to. I have addressed this in chapter
5 - recovery on a spiritual level.
5.take time out for ''you'' everyday.
Each day take the time to acknowledge the importance of being in your
own space. By this I mean time on your own to relax, meditate, pray, chill,
or simply be. This is valuable in your personal development as it helps
you to get to grips with yourself and your purpose. We all have a life
purpose and some of us have a global purpose. Spending time out alone
can enlighten you to this purpose, if you are not already aware of what
it is. Any form of relaxation is enough to slow the mind down and open
the channels to universal healing energy and inspiration.
6. repeat positive affirmations daily.
These are invaluable in your reprogramming of the unconscious mind. Up
to now you have programmed your unconscious with information based on
lack of awareness and understanding. Affirmations are a way to re program
what you want instead of what you got in the past. (See list of positive
affirmations in chapter 2 - recovery on a mental level). repeat and see
the difference it makes over 21 days.
7.see problems or obstacles as challenges or tests.
Obstacles are what we see when we lose sight of the goal. The goal is
life ! live it ! instead of focusing on the problem, focus on how to solve
it. Most situations can be improved upon when action is taken. All situations
can get worse when no action is taken.
8.get up and go !
get active - walking , swimming, or whatever sport you enjoyed not do
something that bores you, otherwise it won't last. When you are active
you release endorphins which are the body's natural relaxants. This deals
with physical stress and allows you to calm down. It also raises your
metabolic rate (the rate at which you burn food for energy). this is great
for all who want to lose weight and keep it off. See activity as a way
of life not a short term fix.
9.surround yourself with positive people.
I feel there are two types of people - helpers and hinders ! the helpers
support you, energise you, encourage you, and generally walk the path
with you. Hinders hold you back, put you down, make you doubt, and generally
create havoc on your path. While I do believe that everyone crosses your
path to teach you something, that does not mean you have to stay around
them. If you are surrounded by hinders then they should come with a health
warning ! as they can ,if you let them do so much damage. Try and spot
the helpers and spend as much time as possible around them. Then spot
the hinders and choose to eliminate them from your circle or at least
spend less time with them. If you cannot do either of these just acknowledge
the impact they are having on you and try and learn not to absorb their
energy. You choose what you absorb and what you deflect.
10.make goals and focus on achieving them.
Making and achieving goals makes life interesting and creates a better
future. Goals help you to move forward and develop. It can be personal
or professional, either way you are going to grow and prosper when it
is achieved. Decide what your goal is.. Believe you have the ability to
achieve it.. Focus on achieving it, despite obstacles and setback…
have a positive mental attitude towards who you are and what you want
in life…
Affirm daily what you want to achieve… remember as you change, so do your goals and how you attain them.
Go for it !!!
Suzanne Horgan
director & founder
Certified Trainer in Practitioner Skills for Eating Disorders and Obesity
Contact Us today..........info@eatingdisorders.ie